Posted by: Robin | February 3, 2009

Aging

I am trying not to have another long lapse in my blogging, but my life consists of three major things right now. The joy is I am back to writing my novel, and I think I have solved the pacing issues some of my test readers have commented upon, though the difficulties of defining character in first-person narrative are still eluding me. The thing is when I’m writing it absorbs me and the external ideas of new reading, conversation and new viewing become almost non-existent making me boring unless I bore you with my latest adventures in writing

The other two major parts–well let’s just say not so much fun. The yeoman’s load of the work in not only taking care of my mother, but in being her acting Durable Financial Power of Attorney, is almost done, but I still have one time-consuming task in pursuing a Medicaid waiver for an Assisted Living facility.  If she qualifies after all the necessary hoops are jumped, then researching, visiting and deciding which of our options is best come next. This is what she has repeatedly said she wants, and for both of us, I hope it works. Meanwhile, I get her meals, run her errands, pay her bills and half a dozen miscellaneous items.

The third is the least welcome: the medical expressions of my own aging. Yes, one notices an increasing farsightedness and aches and pains and slower recovery, but this full-out laundry list of medical issues I’ve acquired in the last several months is getting ridiculous. I am running out of fingers for the different doctors who have used the preamble “with aging comes . . .”

First came my detached retina in May, which was followed by my sticky gel getting caught on my retina scar requiring a November surgery to unstick it followed five days ago with a continued retina thickening that resulted in a needle full of steroids in my eye that still obscures my vision. All this will speed up my natural aging onset of a cataract, probably in the next year. Then came the gastroenterologist for some issues resulting in an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy and a boatload of images of my various internal organs. Turns out three out of the four issues (exception, hietal hernia) are the result of aging. I have slight diverticulitis (MORE FIBER), some motility issues in my esophagus that Sgogren’s Syndrome patients are more prone to with age, and gall stones, which everyone gets, with age. Then came the gynecologist who informed me I am no longer pink and fluffy inside, but white and stiff, due to age. Has anyone written a book on this? Because I’d certainly rather read about it than hear it repeatedly, and I wouldn’t be in this state of shock as one hit after another sneaks up on me.

But then there are the non-aging things like some troubling blood work results that may indicate my lupus is flaring up and will require my sixth separate doctor in three months, and the gathering of sticky calcifications in my breast that can be a warning sign for something worse and will involve a biopsy in the next week.

So, by not writing the past few days I am actually sparing you and myself–or is it denial–depressing musings on an aging body with increasingly sticky and unfluffy body parts, and who wants that?

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Responses

  1. We are all aging. I too do not like how my body is breaking down, however, it does pain me to hear how it’s affecting you. You have had a lot to bear over the years, and you have borne it well… an amazing witness to many of us….and an example I use in my teaching.
    Also…remember… Getting older is something we have no control over, but growing up is a choice.

  2. A needed clarification to my ending phrase: I was not trying to chastise you to “grow up.” It was a Peter Pan type allusion. I want to always stay young in my heart and mind, even though my body grows old. That is my choice…. I am still a kid.. as my wife often reminds me. It is when I look in the mirror, or when my body refuses to let me do what my mind or heart is desiring to do, that I realize I am getting old… but like Peter, Pan that is, I refuse to “grow up.” And I know that you too are “young.” That’s one reason you can write your stories so well. You are a child at heart!! Rejoice in it!!!


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